"...chipmunks don't explode when they hit a tree..."

In a move to clean up their image around the galaxy the Empire has replaced their fleet of Speeder Bikes with giant chipmunks.  Citing the lower carbon emissions and the fact that chipmunks don’t explode when they hit a tree, the Empire insists they are doing their part to protect the fragile environment of Endor.  Critics have dismissed this as an empty gesture citing the Empire’s practice of blowing up planets and the continued use of the enormous AT-AT Walkers which one study shows release more toxic gasses into the atmosphere than Jabba the Hutt. 

The commander of the 409th Storm Trooper Legion has bumped heads with the Empire Central Command over the change, publicly stating that “Going green is great and all, but conditions on the ground have deteriorated.  Since the change my men spend more time sniffing nuts, than fighting Endorian insurgents.”

When asked by reporters if this change constitutes greenwashing  the Emperor was quoted as saying, “Why you gotta be like that?”

Photo Source: Powerpig’s Flickr Stream